At the age of 28 I didn’t want to live anymore. The pain of my worthlessness was unbearable. I felt depressed, lonely, unwanted and useless. I couldn’t see anything good, worthwhile or valuable about me. I didn’t think I deserved to live but was too scared to die.
It’s taken some work to feel good about myself and I was worth the effort. Today my mental health habits are predominantly positive. It feels good to like myself. When we have high self worth we generally do more good and have a positive influence on the rest of the world via the ripple effect.
Where do you get your self worth from?
Many people get their level of self worth from status – the job, the house, the car they drive, their spouse, achievements, body image and good looks etc. When these crutches are taken away, self worth drops. With crutches, you never learn to walk on your own two feet. You have less control and constantly rely on circumstances and other people for your feeling of worthiness.
Build your self worth from within
Building Self Worth from within allows you to independently maintain your self esteem. You are a better role model for your children and attract more of what you desire eg health, wealth, career opportunities, healthy relationships and the best part is ……wait for it…… you feel good!
Exercises to build your self worth
You maintain your level of self worth by deliberately choosing your thoughts and behaviours. Self worth is a muscle that grows stronger with exercise. Here are exercises to start you off. The success is in the utilisation, not in the analysing of them. You don’t get fit by looking at gym equipment and wondering how it works.
- At the end of each day write down 10 things you can acknowledge yourself for.
- Thank the inner critic that hurls abuse at you, brush him/her off and think of a positive perception that could replace the inner critic’s.
- Act in your own best interests. Be your own best friend. Treat yourself with the love and compassion just as you would treat a small child.
- Nurture yourself – do something you love daily or at least weekly
- Write a bucket list and start working towards it
- Take responsibility for your level of self worth. You can’t feel good while blaming others
- Remember times when you felt worthy; what were you doing, what did you tell yourself, how did you feel?
- Live according to your values.
A healthy Self esteem is a habitual way of thinking and behaving and requires regular upkeep. Keep persevering – it gets easier.
Work on it because you’re worth it.